It was Pandilerium!

We coulda been killed...or worse!

For the last 8 years the LA chapter of Families with Children from China have held a banquet at the Empress Pavilion restaurant to celebrate the coming of the Chinese New Year. What started with 35 people in the first year has grown to over 700 for this year. We actually found out about the banquet back before Christmas. Being our usual prompt selves, we didn't send in the reservation and check until the week it was due. Big Mistake! The day I mailed the form and payment, Michelle got an email saying the banquet was sold out! There was a waiting list of over 50 people at that time. Too bad, our loss! There's always next year.

The next Monday, we attended a talk about Adoption and Racism that was held in LA. While we were there, we struck up a conversation with Susan who happened to be running the Chinese New Year banquet. She asked if we were attending and Michelle replied, "Sadly, no...we are one of the 50 people on the waiting list." Susan told us that was not possible, that if it was just the two of us they could place us. It was larger parties of 4 or 5 that they could not seat. She got out her list and found our names and said we were in. There was a lot going on at that event and I wasn't sure I heard her correctly. When we got home, Michelle sent email just to confirm one more time that we were on the list. Susan emailed back and not only confirmed that we were on the list but asked if we wanted to come down early and help set up. Good thing I didn't cancel that check I mailed!

When we got to the restaurant, after really bad directions from Yahoo Maps, we were put to work right away folding programs, numbering tables, placing items on the tables, etc. We were at table 39 with two other families. One, Don & Stephanie had their little girl who they adopted one year earlier. Her name was Moya and she was really cute and a very good eater. She was very well behaved and like all the other kids there in sensory overload. Moya's grandparents from Germany were also at our table. The other couple at our table was Bruce & Linda who just moved to Southern California from Berkeley. Their daughter Mei Ling is 3 years old and they are expecting a referral for their second daughter any day now. Mei Ling didn't like all the loud noise at the banquet and seemed uncertain of the whole thing. She was very cute though!

Entertainment, there was entertainment! First, a nice lady who balanced things on her head and spun dishes. Second, was a man who did acrobatics, balanced things on his head, and spun dishes. Are you starting to sense a theme?? The big entertainment was the Lion dancers and drummers. The lions are used to help scare away evil spirits before the new year. They ran around the room wiggling their ears and batting their eyes at all the kids...most of whom didn't want to have anything to do with the lions. After their run about the room, they ended up on the dance floor where they jumped around and threw orange slices and cabbage; the significance of which we still have not grasped. Sort of a Chinese pinata...or something.

Another traditional event at Chinese New Year is to set off lots of firecrackers to ward off evil spirits. As we were inside a building and LA County has a strict fire code, the FCC staff rolled out huge sheets of bubble wrap that the kids could then jump up and down on to simulate the firecrackers. The kids loved it! And it really did sound like firecrackers. This went on for probably 15 minutes. The bubble wrap was popping and the drummers were drumming and my head was pounding. This seemed like a good time to leave.

Now for the good part...the food. 10 courses of Chinese food, and we weren't even hungry two hours later! Started with potstickers with shrimp, mushrooms and pork. Next up was the fried dumplings with pork, shrimp and assorted seafood. Mine had eel! Yuck!!! Next was the Vegetarian Lo Mein, very yummy. Next was BBQ pork- fabulous. Next was beef and veggies in spicy black bean sauce - heaven! Then came a questionable dish: Pan seared shrimp in a sweet sauce served with honey glazed walnuts. This turned out to be divine. This was unlike anything we've ever had and would certainly have again. Much weight could be gained here. Next up was tofu with mushrooms - very tasty. Next was lemon chicken - not bad, not good. More like chicken fingers with lemon syrup. Odd! Next was garlic veggies and loads of them. Michelle partook of them liberally. (For those of you who doubt that Partook is an actual word, like I did, please see the dictionary and you too will be forced to admit that Michelle is right...again!) Dessert was the last course...lemon tarts and fortune cookies. Yummy! The whole thing was accompanied by sticky rice, crunchy noodles and tea. We were stuffed!

The best part of the whole evening was looking at all the cute little girls running around in their traditional Chinese outfits. They were all ages...from brand new, just home to 12 years old. All too adorable for words. As suspected we were among the youngest people in the room. All in all a very enjoyable evening that we hope to be able to repeat again next year with our daughter in tow.

FCC Cuties

Some of the adorable FCC daughters meet the Miss Chinatown court at the Chinese New Year banquet.
Posted by Zeus

Special Delivery

Apparently our actions have consequences. Who knew? Today at 3:38pm our friend Tina delivered, via c-section, a healthy 7 lb 1 oz. baby boy named James Douglas Henton (or Puxster as we now call him due to the fact that it was Groundhog Day). It seems like just yesterday that Tina and Doug were talking about starting a family and then only a moment later when they were NOT telling us that she was pregnant. She wanted to wait until she had true confirmation from the doctor. So for the past nine months this was just something we were doing together...Tina was pregnant and we were adopting. This was always fun. Go out to lunch, stop by Babies R Us and tell anyone who asked...Tina was pregnant and we were adopting. It sounded so trendy! This was the way it was always going to be, right?

Apparently not. Tina is no longer pregnant, she actually has a baby! Oh dear God, that means that we are actually adopting a little girl from China. This puts us one step closer to the statement of Tina and Doug are parents and so are we. This begs the question, are we old enough to be parents??? And if we are, when exactly did that happen! If you were to ask Doug around 11am today, he would not have been able to answer you as he was in a state of shock. I get the feeling that he was on the band wagon with "Tina was pregnant and Jeff and Michelle were adopting." This was our usual line. Now it has changed. There is an actual child to be dealt with. And when we left the hospital around 7:30pm tonight this new baby was making his need for dinner known loud and clear.

Now we're in a state of shock. Seeing James (Puxster) Henton brings home the fact that in a few short, very short, months we will be bringing home a child as well. Ours will be slightly older but with the same basic needs and I am sure the same loud and clear way of expressing those needs. It just doesn't sound right to say we are just adopting, I guess we will have to alter our line to now be "Tina and Doug have James and we will have Tenley". Something new to get used to.

James Douglas Henton
Born: 2/2/2005 at 3:38pm
7 lbs 1 oz and 20 inches
10 fingers, 10 toes, 2 loving parents

Welcome to the world from Crazy Aunt Michelle and Weird Uncle Jeff

Michelle & I took a hospital tour for free goodies. They demonstrated the sonogram equip. and Michelle volunteered. This is what we saw!
Posted by Zeus

A present for Tenley. The highly coveted, rarely seen Barbie Airplane. She will get this in a couple of years for Christmas. In the meantime, Michelle will play with it. 

Braxton Hicks

Braxton Hicks contractions are what is often referred to in the world of maternity as "false labor". These are the ones that prompt expectant mommies to wake their peacefully slumbering husbands at 3 am and say "Honey! It's time!!" so they can race to the hospital only to come home a few hours later no closer to giving birth than they were a few days ago. The thing about Braxton Hicks is that it's often very difficult for 1st time mommies to know the difference between these and the real thing.

We are having the adoption version of Braxton Hicks.

At around 10pm last night Jeff and I were comfortably ensconsed in a booth at the Gordon Biersh Brewery in Burbank happily chatting away with my sorority sister Kim who was in CA on business when Jeff's cell phone rang. I presumed it was Jeff's best friend Kevin calling to tell us that some other tragedy had befallen the guard shack at the Ball Gate of Disneyland, but no- it was my Mom. Mom wanted to know if we had read the message boards for our adoption agency; but since we were still in Burbank it was clear we had not. Mom follows our message boards with a fervor that is usually only seen in women who have followed a particular soap opera since they were 12. Having determined that our social life has put us out of the loop, she drops the bomb: Group 101 got their first call. Jeff's jaw is hanging open, and Kim says my eyes were huge. Oh no. Our timeline has begun shrinking before our eyes. You look confused. I'll explain:

The avarage time from DTC to referral is 6-8 months. Referral to travel is 2 days to 6 weeks. Group 99 recieved their 1st call "late" at 7 months. Group 100 was "on time" at 6 months, and both groups are expecting their referrals next week for an expected travel date of Feb 25th. Now group 101 has their first call (at 5 months), and their referrals may arrive next week as well. It is proposed that they will either travel with 99 & 100 or within 1 week of them. That only leaves 1 group, #102, ahead of us!! This could shorten our wait time by as much as 2 months- we could be in China in April!

BUT these are Braxton Hicks: 101 was not expecting first call until Feb, but we presume that China pushed to get their referrals done early since the entire country is about to go on vacation for Chinese New Year. There may be a small backlog when they return, and we might only lose 1 month. They may issue nothing at all in Feb, and that would put us all back on schedule with Group 102 being notified in March. In order for us to be there in April, we would have to be combined with Group 102 and recieve notification in Feb or early March. But there is already a rumor on the boards that the CCAA will no longer be combining groups. So whether it's "false labor" or not remains to be seen. I think I'll start practicing my breathing exercises just in case.

"Stay on Target"...."Almost There"

Last week, Groups 99 & 100 got their first call! They are so excited. After what seemed like an unbearable wait for some of them, they now have the news that referrals have been made to their groups. They expect to get their second calls late this week or early next. That call will tell them that they have a child. Then they can then get their photo and documents from USAA. Their third call will be the Travel call. The rumor is they will travel at the end of February.

Group 99 was a month late in getting their call and group 100 was on time. Only groups 101 & 102 left before it's our turn. Group 101 should, theoretically, get their first call in February. Group 102 would then get their first call in March and we would be on schedule for April with travel in late May or June. I'm not sure how any of these other groups think that this is taking way too long. From where I sit, time is flying by at a ridiculous speed. Anyway, that's all the news there is for now. More soon....

New Year...Nothing New! - 1/03/2005

In our last post we mentioned that our referral could possibly come very early and that travel might be sometime in late spring. Turns out that was nothing more than a Halloween scare. Looks like we are still on track for late spring referral and possible travel in June. Many people ask all the time what is happening. I always tell them the same thing...Nothing New. We are in the long waiting period. Of course, long is relative. To a couple who has been trying to have a child for many years unsuccessfully, this waiting period can be unbearable. To us, who have not even tried once to have a child, the wait seems just fine. In fact, we are so busy that time seems to fly right by. We are now really only about 6 months away and there is so much to do that the time will be gone before we know it.

As it stands now, group 98, 100p and 101p are going to travel around January 12th. Group 99 is waiting for referrals now and will probably travel sometime in February. We are group 103 so there are only a couple in front of us. We still have to figure out what to do with all of our stuff that is currently in Tenley's room. We have to figure out where everything should go in the room and this will also involve rearranging our bedroom and the living room as well. On top of all that, there is work and more work at Disneyland. So 6 months doesn't seem all that bad. Anyway, that's the update for now. More coming soon!

For those of you who want to read another adoptive family's story go to: www.maggiemakesfour.blogspot.com

This is an excellent blog by a northern California couple who just adopted their second little girl from China.

Halloween Scare!!! - 10/23/2004

Is it a trick or a treat? We were minding our own business reading the China message board for our group (103) that we belong to when we saw something that caught our eye. Apparently there is a gentleman named George who has made some predictions about travel times for various groups in the past. His success level is surprisingly good, but that could be owing to the fact that he is really good friends with the director of our facilitators. Someone asked if George had any particular prediction for our group, #103. George responded with "still working on g-103 predictions...possibly Easter but maybe adjusted in a couple of weeks."

Easter...Easter 2005??? Could he mean the Christian Easter in March??? Maybe he means the Russian Orthodox Easter in June. March would be three whole months before we were prepared to even receive a phone call let alone travel to China!

After thinking about this for a few hours, we decided that surely this was not possible. Everything we have heard and read in the past 10 months has stated that China is taking between 7-8 months to complete referrals once they receive the documents. Besides, group #97 just got their referrals and group #96 is still waiting for their travel calls. That leaves five more groups ahead of us. June/July is looking like the right time. Then....

A message gets posted from Norman, the director of the agency. Norman states that he actually has orders for groups 96 and 98 to travel and is waiting for orders for group 97. He hopes that all three groups can travel together on Nov. 12th. That only leaves four groups between us and them. Uh-oh. March doesn't seem so unlikely now.

We're not ready! We're not ready! No registry, no baby shower, no baby room, no furniture, no...well, you get the point. At least at this point the child would have a name. Somewhere to sleep might be better but a name will have to do.

We have decided not to panic yet as things may yet change. We will keep you posted!

Happy Halloween!!!

We're Officially "Pregnant"! - 10/12/2004

Ladies and gentlemen, start your clocks: WE ARE DTC!!!!!!

On Friday, October 8, 2004 we recieved a letter from our facillitators,USAA, telling us that we have been assigned to Group 103. A quick e-mail to those who have gone before us on the USAA web group, China 33, confirms that this letter is sent out after your dossier has been sent to China! So our paperwork is now in the hands of the China Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA), and we are in the baby queue!

While I waited for Tracy back on July 2nd, I chatted with Yasmine who says this is how it's gonna go:

We get the letter with our Group #
We wait 6-9 months (on avarage)
We will recieve 3 phone calls:
1) from Yasmine telling us that the CCAA has notified them that our Group has been assigned and the referrals are on their way
2) from Tracy telling us that we're parents and that our daughter's photo & info are being Fed Ex'd overnight to us
3) from Yasmine telling us that China has issued our Visas and what our travel date is.

There is about 2 weeks between calls 1 & 2, and anywhere from 1 week to 6 weeks between calls 2 & 3. When we get call 3, we'll have about 10-14 days before we leave.

That's the good news. The bad news is that there isn't going to be a whole lot to tell you for the next 6-9 months. No sonograms, no aminocentisis, no Braxton Hicks, no bulging belly, no morning sickness...just nothing - it's a paper pregnancy. So we'll share any information that happens to come our way, but hopefully we'll start having alot more to say come next May. So stop by when you can, and set a reminder on Outlook to begin checking regularly in the spring!

We'll leave you with the Dossier Prayer, which kinda says it all:

Dossier Prayer
Oh God, you know your children's needs and the desires of our hearts better than we can speak them. We pray for your blessing on this sheaf of papers, now winging its way to the other side of the world.

This stack of documents tells so much--yet so little--of who we are. Between the lines, behind the official seals, our deepest dreams are written.

God, you made miracles of ordinary things: quails and manna, bread and wine. Take these ordinary papers and use them to guide us to our miracle.

Bless the work of those who bring families together: the agency staff and facilitators; the government bureaucrats here and abroad; the orphanage officials and caregivers.

Bless the birth family whose child's future we will be privileged to share, and comfort them in their sorrow.

Bless all the adoptive parents and children who wait for their papers to move and their miracles to occur.

And most especially bless the child, born or unborn, who will be our child forever.

This dossier is the link between our lives and hers, oh God. It is the symbol of our hope--the instrument that will bring our family together. Speed it on its way, and sustain our faith during the difficult months to come.

~Julie Higginbotham, Chicago