The Rumor Mill

Rumors rumors everywhere...and nothing we can count on!

Now that there's no one in front of us and it's the October DTC people who are due to get referrals, the Rumor Mill has shifted into high gear. It's a good thing that we're not anxious or desperate, because you could make yourself crazy (and many people are) trying to keep up with what everyone thinks might be going on.

Oddly, the message board that USAA people talk on is quiet. There are questions about Gotcha Day and the information you will receive at 1st & 2nd call, but those questions are being asked by members of Groups 105 - 109 predominantly. Someone from 103 did call USAA today, and posted that they were told we are done being matched- but have no ETA on our referrals, and that it's unlikely that 103 (us) will be combined with 102 (but could potentially be combined with 104), and that 103 will likely not travel until June or July. This set off a firestorm of freaked out posts on the Group 103 message board by anxious members of our group who have stated that they will not, under any circumstances, wait until July to travel if we get a referral anytime in the next 2 weeks. They are seeking ways to beg, cajole, demand, or force USAA to take us sooner, send us on our own, or travel with another agency to get there in May. The October DTC board has been humming with rumors for weeks because the members of that group are from many different agencies, so everyone has a different story: referrals are coming, but only if you have a LID before Oct 15 (or 17, or 19 depending on the rumor); referrals are not coming and there won't be any until May (or June depending on the rumor); referrals are coming- but only for the end of Sept people. After 5 minutes of this your eyes begin to cross and your head begins to really hurt.

This is the part of the wait that is hard for me: listening to all these people freak out and chase their tails. Jeff and I are really calm and we have had no problem with the wait. I suppose that could be because this is our first attempt to have a child, unlike many others who spent their late 20's trying to conceive and their 30's in the "fertility circus" and may or may not have failed domestic adoptions to boot. Some people have 1 biological child, but were unable to have more. Some are just baby crazy. We are letter "D": none of the above. We believe that the child who will be our daughter was destined before time was time, and that our job is merely to walk the path God has set us on until we meet her. Some of our group are upset at the thought of having a picture and then having to leave their child in the orphanage for 2 months until July... I don't see the problem: she has no idea that a couple of pale faced round eyed people speaking a strange language are flying half way around the world to rescue her from a substandard living environment and whisk her away to a clean, well fed pamperd life of luxury...she's just happily living the only life she's ever known- and she may be with a loving and attentive foster family.

I am content to wait and continue cleaning and preparing our home. I know Tenley is coming, and while I'd love to see her face today, it's ok if I don't see it until May or June. I have no intention of calling USAA to find out what's happening and where our referrals are, or to join in the travel mutiny- if we don't go until July it will be hot and humid and miserable (Guangzhou is on the same latitude as Cuba) but I will still see China and be united with my daughter.

I think everybody just needs to take a pill.